THE
ALIENBUTT
SAGA.
A totally new kind of hero. He eats junk food, drinks whiskey and has toxic bad wind. Add a dodgy dress sense and you have the most unlikely hero who just happens to be the only hope for the universe.
BOOK ONE, THE WAR OF THE COFFEE BEAN.
Piestoff Alienbutt is a struggling taxi driver living out a life of monotony until he picks up the wrong fare. Catapulted into a universe of adventure, he is horrified to learn he is a central player and his entire race was wiped out in an attempt to kill him.
The kebab eating and often drunk Piestoff Alienbutt has to become a hero to the people of the Ick Empire. It is foretold that only he can save them in a war that is soon to rip the universe apart.
As the Coffee Houses move to protect the drug that ensures their power and bring about the fall of the Ick, the last Alienbutt begins to stumble through events that could see him become the greatest hero ever known.
The War of the Coffee Bean sees the start of a new Sci-fi saga with the most unlikely hero ever to pull on red boots and stagger drunkenly out of a bar, trying to outrun a destiny that he shouldn't have.
ALIENBUTT
SAGA.
A totally new kind of hero. He eats junk food, drinks whiskey and has toxic bad wind. Add a dodgy dress sense and you have the most unlikely hero who just happens to be the only hope for the universe.
BOOK ONE, THE WAR OF THE COFFEE BEAN.
Piestoff Alienbutt is a struggling taxi driver living out a life of monotony until he picks up the wrong fare. Catapulted into a universe of adventure, he is horrified to learn he is a central player and his entire race was wiped out in an attempt to kill him.
The kebab eating and often drunk Piestoff Alienbutt has to become a hero to the people of the Ick Empire. It is foretold that only he can save them in a war that is soon to rip the universe apart.
As the Coffee Houses move to protect the drug that ensures their power and bring about the fall of the Ick, the last Alienbutt begins to stumble through events that could see him become the greatest hero ever known.
The War of the Coffee Bean sees the start of a new Sci-fi saga with the most unlikely hero ever to pull on red boots and stagger drunkenly out of a bar, trying to outrun a destiny that he shouldn't have.
INTERSTELLAR NEWS CHANNEL 9 NEWS FLASH
As unrest and rioting continue to spread across the universe in the light of further reports of an expected poor crop of coffee beans, over three hundred Senators at the Federation Senate today staged a protest when supplies of coffee ran out in the senate canteen. It took Federal police in full riot gear over two hours to restore order. Quazzel Proodich, head of the Federation Senate said in a brief statement. “We are facing the greatest threat to universal peace ever when even the supply of coffee to the government can be interrupted like this. In partnership with the Coffee Houses we are doing everything possible to ensure increased production of the bean. All supply will now be controlled by official agents to ensure a steady supply to all key personnel. In light of this any unauthorised trading in coffee will become a Federal offence punishable by death. There is no need for panic as there is enough coffee to go around.
Glenn Scrimshaw (2012-03-13T16:58:37+00:00). THE FIRST BOOK OF ALIENBUTT ebook (Kindle Locations 573-580). Kindle Edition.
As unrest and rioting continue to spread across the universe in the light of further reports of an expected poor crop of coffee beans, over three hundred Senators at the Federation Senate today staged a protest when supplies of coffee ran out in the senate canteen. It took Federal police in full riot gear over two hours to restore order. Quazzel Proodich, head of the Federation Senate said in a brief statement. “We are facing the greatest threat to universal peace ever when even the supply of coffee to the government can be interrupted like this. In partnership with the Coffee Houses we are doing everything possible to ensure increased production of the bean. All supply will now be controlled by official agents to ensure a steady supply to all key personnel. In light of this any unauthorised trading in coffee will become a Federal offence punishable by death. There is no need for panic as there is enough coffee to go around.
Glenn Scrimshaw (2012-03-13T16:58:37+00:00). THE FIRST BOOK OF ALIENBUTT ebook (Kindle Locations 573-580). Kindle Edition.
BOOK TWO, THE RISE OF MR FLUFFY
Lost somewhere in space Piestoff Alienbutt must find a way back to his own universe to help his friends. After recovering from his injuries, inflicted during the fight with his long lost father, turned Coffee House cyborg, he begins a quest to find an ancient gateway that is his only chance of getting home.
Back in his own universe the War of the Coffee Bean still rages. Despite a string of victories following the return of the Emperor Wickede with the cure for coffee addiction, the war against the Federation is being lost.
As hope begins to fade, Alienbutt's friends continue to rally their forces as they try to stem the unstoppable advance of the Federation invasion. As both sides prepare to face each other in a final battle neither side notice the quiet rise of a new power. A new power that threatens to destroy both sides and drag the universe into a chaos it will never recover from.
Can Alienbutt make it home in time to prevent the rise of Mr Fluffy?
Lost somewhere in space Piestoff Alienbutt must find a way back to his own universe to help his friends. After recovering from his injuries, inflicted during the fight with his long lost father, turned Coffee House cyborg, he begins a quest to find an ancient gateway that is his only chance of getting home.
Back in his own universe the War of the Coffee Bean still rages. Despite a string of victories following the return of the Emperor Wickede with the cure for coffee addiction, the war against the Federation is being lost.
As hope begins to fade, Alienbutt's friends continue to rally their forces as they try to stem the unstoppable advance of the Federation invasion. As both sides prepare to face each other in a final battle neither side notice the quiet rise of a new power. A new power that threatens to destroy both sides and drag the universe into a chaos it will never recover from.
Can Alienbutt make it home in time to prevent the rise of Mr Fluffy?
INTERSTELLAR NEWS CHANNEL 9. NEWS FLASH.
News has come in that the dead Ick leader, Wickede, personally led the latest Ick counter-attack. In fierce fighting the Federation forces have made strategic withdrawals as they prepare for their next offensive. In a short statement to the Senate the gains made by the Ick were dismissed as part of the Federation Navies’ long-term plans, and an end to the war of the coffee bean was in sight. In related news the High Priest of the Order of Righteous Indignation has condemned the use of necromancy by the Ick and declared that all who stand with the Ick are heretics in the eyes of the Celestial Jellyfish of Judgement. When a local frozen seafood merchant mentioned that maybe the Ick leader was not killed when reported assassinated, he was battered to death by an angry mob led by the High Priest, who was allegedly wielding a frozen jellyfish. The death of the merchant is being reported as the Celestial Jellyfish’s judgement on unbelievers by church officials. Wide-scale panic buying of tinned foods in preparation for a zombie apocalypse caused by Wickede’s resurrection has been played down by authorities as ridiculous.
Scrimshaw, Glenn (2012-09-28). The Rise of Mr Fluffy (Alienbutt Saga) (Kindle Locations 99-109). Gingernut Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.
News has come in that the dead Ick leader, Wickede, personally led the latest Ick counter-attack. In fierce fighting the Federation forces have made strategic withdrawals as they prepare for their next offensive. In a short statement to the Senate the gains made by the Ick were dismissed as part of the Federation Navies’ long-term plans, and an end to the war of the coffee bean was in sight. In related news the High Priest of the Order of Righteous Indignation has condemned the use of necromancy by the Ick and declared that all who stand with the Ick are heretics in the eyes of the Celestial Jellyfish of Judgement. When a local frozen seafood merchant mentioned that maybe the Ick leader was not killed when reported assassinated, he was battered to death by an angry mob led by the High Priest, who was allegedly wielding a frozen jellyfish. The death of the merchant is being reported as the Celestial Jellyfish’s judgement on unbelievers by church officials. Wide-scale panic buying of tinned foods in preparation for a zombie apocalypse caused by Wickede’s resurrection has been played down by authorities as ridiculous.
Scrimshaw, Glenn (2012-09-28). The Rise of Mr Fluffy (Alienbutt Saga) (Kindle Locations 99-109). Gingernut Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.
BOOK THREE, THE EMPEROR OF THE UNIVERSE.
As the droid forces of Mr Fluffy sweep across the Inner Systems General Jee races to gather his shattered Federation forces. As the war for the Inner Systems turns into a rout for the Federation the General must choose his battleground carefully. Only with a victory at Earth can he hope to turn the tide of the war.
In the Outer Systems the survivours of the Ick and their allies prepare for the inevitable invasion that will happen if the last of the Federation forces are defeated. As Professor Frank and the robot Kirk search for a way to rescue the Ick fleet from dead space Alienbutt finds himself in charge of the Ick as the highest ranking officer left. Learning of further plots by Mr Fluffy to replace his droid army with a far more deadly cyborg force Alienbutt must make peace with his cybercore arm and become the leader of the Ick Empire.
As the droid forces of Mr Fluffy sweep across the Inner Systems General Jee races to gather his shattered Federation forces. As the war for the Inner Systems turns into a rout for the Federation the General must choose his battleground carefully. Only with a victory at Earth can he hope to turn the tide of the war.
In the Outer Systems the survivours of the Ick and their allies prepare for the inevitable invasion that will happen if the last of the Federation forces are defeated. As Professor Frank and the robot Kirk search for a way to rescue the Ick fleet from dead space Alienbutt finds himself in charge of the Ick as the highest ranking officer left. Learning of further plots by Mr Fluffy to replace his droid army with a far more deadly cyborg force Alienbutt must make peace with his cybercore arm and become the leader of the Ick Empire.
INTERSTELLAR NEWS CHANNEL 9. NEWS FLASH.
The High Priest of the Order of Righteous Indignation has given his first sermon since Emperor Fluffy’s endorsement of the religious order as the true faith for his new universe. In his sermon, flanked by ex- reality star Thin Kladabore who was ordained yesterday as the High Priest’s Right-Hand he called upon the citizens of Emperor Fluffy’s new order to rise up in holy war against the many heretics of the new order. He went on to demand the seizing of all priests of Sung the One Eyed Llama for claiming that the heretic rebel leader Alienbutt was a divine saviour.
In a short press release after the sermon Thin Kladabore said “I am looking forward to my new life serving the High Priest as his Right-Hand and I will be putting my body and soul into trying to be far more than being just the best Right-Hand a High Priest ever had. We are entering a new era of enlightenment and peace with devotion to our god-emperor at the heart of all we do.”
Father George of the Temple of Curious Learning has had his request for clarification of what a High Priest’s Right-Hand actually does turned down.
Following his sermon a number of temples belonging to Sung were attacked. Security forces diffused a nuclear weapon planted at one temple and released a short statement stating “The use of weapons of mass destruction against temples and churches is frowned upon as we would sooner not burn in hell along with any heretic.”
The High Priest of the Order of Righteous Indignation has given his first sermon since Emperor Fluffy’s endorsement of the religious order as the true faith for his new universe. In his sermon, flanked by ex- reality star Thin Kladabore who was ordained yesterday as the High Priest’s Right-Hand he called upon the citizens of Emperor Fluffy’s new order to rise up in holy war against the many heretics of the new order. He went on to demand the seizing of all priests of Sung the One Eyed Llama for claiming that the heretic rebel leader Alienbutt was a divine saviour.
In a short press release after the sermon Thin Kladabore said “I am looking forward to my new life serving the High Priest as his Right-Hand and I will be putting my body and soul into trying to be far more than being just the best Right-Hand a High Priest ever had. We are entering a new era of enlightenment and peace with devotion to our god-emperor at the heart of all we do.”
Father George of the Temple of Curious Learning has had his request for clarification of what a High Priest’s Right-Hand actually does turned down.
Following his sermon a number of temples belonging to Sung were attacked. Security forces diffused a nuclear weapon planted at one temple and released a short statement stating “The use of weapons of mass destruction against temples and churches is frowned upon as we would sooner not burn in hell along with any heretic.”